finals. cuckoo.

I can't wait to have a proper job so I can plaster inspirational little tid-bits such as this (above) all over the place. Leaving room for my taxidermy kitten calendar of course.

I'm trying to keep up with the reading in the final weeks of classes- and by keep up, I mean actually read, retain, digest- I would only be doing myself a disservice if I skim now or do a half-ass job, because I'll only have to re-read when I outline next week.

So far it's been all friendly, and supportive, and "super-competitive, frigid law students? Phsaw! We're having fun." until recently that is... the tide has changed and I can't even be in the law school anymore without feeling consumed by the atmosphere of anxiety. Seriously, I've succumbed to home study, unable to deal with the lonely carrels, the useless jabber about what I am or am not doing, the dinner by plastic fork and fluorescent library light. I'd rather get home, get in my comfies, and do the thing. Sometimes that nervous energy is motivating, but right now it only leads to unproductive worrying.

I look at my bed, and I think - I cannot wait to get into you. I love having a big, cozy bed to retire to.

On that note, back to Civil Procedure so that I can get into that big, cozy bed at a reasonable hour, and stay there for 5 - 6 more.

Toodles.

reconsider your silence.

Our professor urged us to reconsider our silence at the end of the last class, after a discussion of pornography and freedom of expression. We were assigned a few Supreme Court cases as well as the anti-pornography ordinances that Catherine MacKinnon (my idol, remember?) and Andrea Dworkin wrote. It was a moment when I should have spoken up and said I agreed with the ordinances that treat pornography as sex discrimination and allow women to bring a civil suit against anyone that produces these loathsome materials. No one said they supported the statutes, and our professor seemed disappointed, as was I... in myself for not piping up. So in 9 minutes we have class again, and the topic will come up in the beginning of class, and I feel like it's one of those decisive moments in my career, where I can get through the next hour and fifteen minutes of class, or actually say something that is important to me. And it ought to be important to all of the women around me. We'll see..........

idol

Catherine MacKinnon. The more I read about her, the more I want to follow in her footsteps, and speak up, and study harder, write things that matter for the women of my generation.

cold-called. brr.

Of course I had prepared the cases that we were assigned that day of class. I had just finished a thorough reading before class. But that's the thing about law school. Being prepared for today's assignment is not enough. So my professor turns to me after lecturing for half an hour and asks for a run down of a case assigned over a week ago. Mind immediately went blank. I have no idea what you are referring to. Umm. I start turning pages, probably looking frantic and changes colors in the face. Luckily my neighbor whispered to me the appropriate page and I start rambling little highlighted sentences from my book, and looking to my inadequate brief that shone in front of me on my laptop. Not to get into the nitty gritty, but once I realized what case we were on, things got better, and I made a couple good points. I can only hope that tomorrow I will be called on again to finish the case, and maybe dig into the next one. I loathe when I have all this information and good points to make and am asked about the one thing that isn't at the level of understanding or accessibility that it should be. Damn, I sound like I'm about to get anal about the whole studying and preparing before class thing. Maybe not. Maybe moral of the story is to speak up more in class so as to play down the detractors.

Everything is speeding up and I am trying to keep it calm, get 'er done, and enjoy myself as much as possible in law school. Not necessarily hardy partying, but maintaining a sense of mental well-being. Exercise, yoga, healthy-eating, and good friends are the most important elements for the mental upkeep. And shleeeep. Time to get some.

on rights.

So nobody is probably going to even this see this blog, but I just wanted to take a second to address something really disturbing I read in the news yesterday. It was an article about an Iranian woman, a fellow blogger, named Fariba Pajouh, who has been held in solitary confinement by the Iranian intelligence ministry for over three weeks. Ms. Pajouh worked for a reformist newspaper, and her arrest is an obvious attempt to silence the voice of opposition. My sympathies go out to her and her family, and I hope she is freed soon. It is hard to believe that such blatent violations of human rights are happening every day. I guess that forces us to question whether freedom of speech is a basic human right. Should it be one of the prioritized rights that each society promise to its citizens? By prioritized, I mean to say that I do feel that some rights are more important than others. In our country, for example, I think due process is more important than owning a rifle. Not that I'm against the right to bear arms (heck! the men in my family have always been hunters), but I don't think it is thee most crucial. I suppose it's only natural for my discussion of human rights to lead to the Constitution. Since I've already wandered down this path, it's interesting to consider the order of the Amendments in the Bill of Rights. Right there, at number one, freedom of the speech and freedom of the press. In making the new nation, the framers of the Constitution felt it was a priority to protect these freedoms, and perhaps it's one of the rights we take for granted. In Zambia, the editor of The Post has also been imprisoned for sending photos of a woman giving birth outside of a hospital to the vice president and health minister. Sadly, the newborn did not survive the birth. The editor did this in order to demonstrate the failings of the nation's health system, but was charged with distributing obscene materials. Really? You leave a woman with no choice but to give birth in the streets, and then call it pornography when faced with the reality of the consequences?

Cases like these demonstrate the necessity to protect rights such as freedom of speech, press, and due process. But how to intervene or influence the basic rights and values of other nations seems a precarious task to undertake. The challenge does not mean that we can turn a blind eye.

motivation.

Thank you to the student organization who did not vote for me to be the committee chair of their newsletter. I won't be bitter. I'm a writer, and yes, I really wanted that committee chair. And although I did not realize that we were going to have to give a little shpeel about ourselves and why we wanted respective positions, I delivered an off-the-cuff little run down of who I was and my experience and goals for the newsletter, and I think it did the job. Got'er done. Smiling faces looking back at me, expressing approval. I mean, it was no Obama speech, but it was good, if I might say so. And the other female gave her shpeel with less enthusiasm, albeit she did have comparable qualifications, and was voted the 1L committee chair for the newsletter. Seriously, I'm not a sore loser, but first off, she ran for two positions, lost the other, and had a second opportunity to expound on her qualifications. And secondly, I think people have a bias against stylish females, and tend to think they're not as serious professionally speaking. Well that did it for me. It's like I have to work harder to prove myself a competent, intelligent young lawyer. I wonder if things would be different if I shaved my head, and went for the full-on feminist, activist look. Seriously, I think the election would have taken a different twist. But that's ok. I will take it as even more motivation to work my ass off and assert myself.


Week 2 is going really well. It's nice having a small section with 35 people. We're forming a little fam, and I see us becoming a great support network throughout the year. Hopefully we'll get good and drunk together a few times also.

My favorite course at this point is Contracts. Surprise! I never would have expected that. Well, I guess I like all of my classes in different ways. Constitutional Law is challenging, but very intellectually engaging, and Torts is fun because we think up all of these crazy hypotheticals for situations when people can be held liable for things. My professor is this hilarious, gregarious, highly respected torts scholar, that is just impossible not to love. Or at least laugh with several times each class.

This has been the densent 2 weeks of my life. But in a good way.

goals. see below

What are your goals for this year?

I think it's a constructive thing to ask yourself every so often, especially at the start of something new. As a compulsive list maker, I have already written down my goals. They are:

* To improve my public speaking, namely to become more eloquent. Getting over the nerves is no longer enough.
* Enjoy law school. Stay positive. Appreciate the entire experience.
* Mindful, careful eating (and cookin!)Also, getting to the market once a week to eat fresh, seasonal, and local.
* Enjoy breaks. Find complete reprieve from work and stress.
* Focus on becoming a good advocate for people.
* Learn french! Ok, this one's auxiliary, but definitely in the next 2 years.. Perhaps I will study some in Pariiis.. One thing to work towards.

Enough about me. What are your goals? To become a better brother/sister/friend/lover/mother/spouse? To plant a garden? To, for once, not kill a houseplant? To learn to play the mandolin? I'm interested in others' goals, and how they succeed in accomplishing them.

This is going to be a tough year. I know I started out all "whatevs, I can totally get through without freaking out", and treating it as if it were some potentially coool project. But now the material has turned out to be more interesting than I had imagined, and I want to become a thoughtful, strong, bad-ass lawyer. I mean, seriously, lawyers are the people who make the laws of society, just as much as legislators. They write the contracts, argue over important social issues, and are the voice of people that might otherwise go unheard. I really want to get the most out of my classes and do well, and not just to "beat out" my classmates. Speaking of whom, there have been some uneventful social events for 1Ls, which have resulted in the typical getting drunk and unveiling of true characters from beneath the orientation facade. Booze-fueled ice breakers if you will. Designated are the class skank, sleeze, capitalistic networkers, brains, drunks, etc etc. Yes, it can bring you back to high school if you so desire.

So, anyway, back to the original idea : What are your goals?

not-so-bad

Day one. (cue scary music) dun-dun-dun-dun ... honestly folks, it ain't that bad. Well, there was an unexpected day minus-1 as well, some orientation events which included (dun-dun-dun-dun) Intro to the Socratic method... one of the aspects of law school I had been fearing during the past 2 years. So, naturally, I volunteered instead of waiting to be called on. I said, "shooot, i ain't sitting 'round here shakin in my boots," (in my head), and the professor laughed and said I had been on his hit list anyhow. phew. That, my friends, is called pre-emptive attack.

So the actual day one started with a surprisingly comforting class in lawyering, with a kind, soft-er spoken professor who emphasized creating a safe learning environment, and doesn't want any of us coming in feeling nervous about being cold-called on. We just sat back and listened. I think it will be a really challenging class, but one that I will really enjoy - the name sounds so dry, lawyering, but I am excited about the writing, research, and honing my public speaking skeeelz. It was nothing like I had imagined my first class of my first day of law school.

I had a couple more classes and met more nervous and excited 1L's. We really do have a diverse class, with people from all over the world, each with a unique background. Everything from teachers, to consultants, to publicists, to paralegals, journalists, waitresses, mountain climbers, and travelers of the world in general, like myself.

Just to make my first day even more memorable, the water pump thing-a-ma-jig at our apartment broke the night before and I couldn't even take a shower before class. Yup. Brushed my teeth with a jug of water. To celebrate my roommate and I went out to a nice dinner, and I ordered an Indian ratatatoulle that was less than delicious, but we had a good laugh recounting the days events. And I had a well-deserved glass of red wine.

Well, here goes day 2 with Constitutional Law (yea! excited about this one) and Civil Procedure (dun-dun-dun-dun). Talk soon playas.



SONG FOR INSPIRATION:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NQdC7h609k8

courage

My new flatmate, A, said something that really resonated with me tonight. It came from a cheesy card her mother had given her. Courage is working through the fear. It's so true. Sometimes you feel like you're the only one that experiences doubts. And you get consumed by your own fears, and let them paralyze you. But you have to just buck up, *glib* as that sounds, and work on through it. To have this talk with A, a grad student in another field, and a prospective law student, S, who keeps putting off the LSATs because of his own anxieties, was comforting. As was black sticky rice and coconut icecream after dinner (thai basil green beans with bell peppers and chicken in a chili sauce).

Emmmm.... and Google Image is one of my pastimes. Once again proving to be a sheer geyser of wisdom.

Search results for "courage":




And just when you thought you couldn't be moved any higher...



Word.

cold feet

Just moved into the new apartment, and it's just as light and airy and happy as I could have wished for. But campus is quiet and emails are arriving from professors with reading materials and I wanted to crawl back into the car and go home with my mom for the weekend. Orientation isn't until next week anyway. Just one more weekend at home. My eyes got all teary and I felt bad for making my mother feel sad to leave me here alone. The new roommate's not here yet. In the end, I figured it really wouldn't make much of a difference, whether I stay or go, and maybe better that I get acclimated to a new home... get oriented to the area. I'm going to try to walk to the law school now and hopefully some fresh air, and stop for a coffee with my summer reading... the fun stuff (Mireille Guiliano's French Women for All Seasons), and pick up some ideas for autumnal recipes. Things with apples and squash and potatoes and so on... Enjoy the free time while it lasts.

legal jargon

My blog can now be found here, among many other legal blogs (blawgs! who said lawyers aren't punny!?) :

http://www.blawg.com/

There is a special section devoted to law students too.

proposition 1

Hello. You may be scratching your head about the blog title. You're probably thinking, "how in the heck is she going to try to make law school seem fashionable???" Well, that's not quite the plan. Allow me to explain. After a couple years of post-graduation flip-flopping about whether or not to go to law school, I have finally decided to take the plunge, bite the bullet, give it a go. (Yes, I have managed to squeeze 3 simultaneous mom-isms into one sentence.) My doubts about law school are certainly not atypical. They were derived from all-too-common places. First, the nay-sayers, including the current (or past) lawyers who warn against barreling into law school without considering what I would actually "do" with a law degree. I myself had originally planned to get a J.D. without necessarily planning to take the bar, be a lawyer, or practice law. I had always considered it a great opportunity to further a strong liberal arts education, and was taken aback when posed with the question of what kind of lawyer I wanted to be. I am unsure of who originally planted this idea of law school being a great opportunity even if you don't want to be a lawyer into my brain... perhaps my mom. In any case, I'm glad it was challenged by so many people, and forced me to consider whether or not this is really my goal, to study law, and what I could really envision myself doing with a law degree. The other source of my law school anxieties came from visions of frumpy-lady-lawyer in the dreaded pantsuit. As a young feminist, it embarrasses me to admit to this being a reason, but it would be a lie if I said the image didn't cause a feeling of slight revulsion. I am not a pantsuit gal, and more importantly, I have always seen myself as an art-lover, writer, traveler, and at times very introspective person, and I had trouble reconciling this self-image with that of lawyer. But letting this get in the way of the possible opportunities that await me in law school, and the things I could accomplish to help others, would be a shame. Plus, Yves Saint Laurent's Le Smoking pantsuit clearly shows that the pantsuit can be both sexy and empowering.



These may seem like bourgie anxieties, but please don't misinterpret me: I am from a single-parent, middle class family, and I will be taking out more loans than I can comprehend to finance this thing... so I have taken all aspects into consideration.

SO WHAT'S THE POINT??

It is especially relevant in the current post-Bush era of Obama-ism that I posit as my first goal of this blog to argue:

1) public service is IN. The past election has demonstrated that young Americans are becoming more and more involved in the public service sector. This is a surge of enthusiasm that hasn't been seen since the days of JFK. But honestly, how many times did you think to yourself during the campaign, "But I didn't even know that he/she cared about politics!" upon learning that another acquaintance had up and dropped their life to join the campaign. Well if being a follower, per say, means becoming an active member of the democratic system, I say join the masses. Thus, goal one: hip is not exclusive aspiring artists in WILLIAMSBURG and AUSTIN. The new hipster makes serving the public good an ongoing theme in his or her life. Further, a girl does NOT have to sacrifice femininity for her career aspirations.

2) Goal number 2 is to share my experience with those recent graduates or soon-to-be-graduates, or even those contemplating midlife career changes that are considering law school and are unsure of whether this is the path they want to go down. Perhaps those of us who haven't known since birth that we were meant to become lawyers... I promise to share the absolute truth about my first year at an Ivy League law school, infamous for its use of the (shutter) Socratic method.

3) And the last goal of this blog is to keep myself sane. Despite the cautionary tales I am still clueless as to what to expect. Lots of reading, obv. But what is my life going to look like, and will I be able to handle it? I got my undergrad degree from another Ivy League school, but law school is said to be a whole new playing field. I can only hope to have some time once a week to reflect... and share the goss about my class.


I am writing under a pseudonym to respect the privacy of my professors, classmates (read: enemies), and the institution I am attending. Please ask any questions and share your musings.

This session is now adjourned.